Author Archives: Kilgore Trout III

A Cobra Destined To Be a ‘Skin

Posted by KilgoreTroutIII

Here he is ‘Skins. A guy who can tackle. And he’s perfect for a team that keeps beating itself. He tackles his own teammate. Sign him up.

He plays for the Las Vegas Cobras. Hmmm. Gotta wonder what the spread was on this game.

And when they talk about the spread in Vegas, they don’t mean the quarterback running the option.

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Redskins in Trade Talks for Raiders’ Pigeon

Posted by KilgoreTroutIII

According to a Redskins source, Daniel Snyder is negotiating with Al Davis in an attempt to trade for the Raiders’ special teams pigeon who was the star of yesterday’s Eagles-Raiders game.

“I know everyone thinks I spend too much on high profile players,” Snyder said, caught on tape in a secret recording. “This pigeon is a special teams player only, so he should fit within our salary cap, but I know he won’t play for chicken feed.”

Without a playbook in his language, the pigeon lined up on the 20 for the kickoff and flew perfectly  in formation with the Raiders to the 20 at the other end, watched to be sure that the tackle was made, and then went back to pecking the turf.

And he’s nicely attired in the Raiders colors.

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Week 5 NFL Picks: Me vs. a Two Year Old

Posted (for) SuckaFish

Each week I’ll be picking games in a head-to-head competition with an intellectual equal, my two-year-old daughter. I put the logos of the two teams playing each other on the screen and she pointed to (or said things like “helmet” for the Browns or “Tiger” for the Jaguars) the team she prefers.

Here are the picks for Week 5:

Game SuckaFish Two-Year-Old Daughter
Browns @ Bills Browns Browns
Cowboys @ Chiefs Cowboys Chiefs
Vikings @ Rams Vikings Vikings
Raiders @ Giants Giants Raiders
Bucs @ Eagles Eagles Eagles
Steelers @ Lions Steelers Lions
Redskins @ Panthers Panthers Panthers
Bengals @ Ravens Ravens Ravens
Falcons @ 49ers 49ers 49ers
Jaguars @ Seahawks Seahawks Jaguars
Texans @ Cardinals Cardinals Texans
Patriots @ Broncos Patriots Patriots
Colts @ Titans

Jets @ Dolphins

Colts

Jets

Colts

Jets

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TCU Rescinds Henson’s Degree

Posted by KilgoreTroutIII

BREAKING NEWS: TCU has rescinded the degree previously presented to Robert Henson, former All-MWC linebacker now on the Washington Redskins roster. The university cited Mr. Henson’s series of 52 Twitter postings following the Redskins’ “game” against the Rams Sunday as reported in this front page story in the Washington Post.

“TCU has been embarrassed too much by Mr. Henson’s behavior,” said Associate Chancellor Ben Downtoolong. “We can understand a lack of forethought by his tweeting disrespectfully to the fans who indirectly pay his salary — a salary which is already in excess of anyone on the TCU staff with the exception of the volleyball coach and all other coaches in our athletic department.

See the full post at The TCU Horned Blog.

For further developments, please see:

    HensonSoldHisSoulBySigningWithARacist-NamedTeam.blogspot.com

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‘Skins Horrible & Win; Cowboys Dominate & Lose

Posted by KilgoreTroutIII

Give credit where due to whoever first said “turnovers decide games.” Yesterday, the ‘Skins played a horrible offensive game — nine points on five red-zone possessiona — but matched the Rams with only one turnover apiece and they won.

The Cowboys offense ran all over the Giants, but gave up four turnovers (counting a fumble on a kickoff return) to none for the Giants and lost on a walkoff field goal to the otherwise outmatched Giants.

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