New Name for the Redskins

Posted by SuckaFish

The Supreme Court has been asked to hear arguments in a case that says the Washington Redskins team name is so offensive its trademark should be revoked.

My understanding is that basically the Redskins will have to change their name by next Sunday’s game. Back in college I minored in U.S. History so I’m kind of an expert on this stuff. Best case scenario, the team will need a new name by next season so let’s get ahead of the curve and come up with the one now.

First, it’s important to note that some of the best names are already taken. I really liked Patriots but a guy at work said there’s already a football team called that. And the Washington basketball team is the Sea Dogs so that’s out.

Maybe Generals does work.

I thought maybe another patriotic name would work. Americans would give them a national following but the logical move would be to switch to a red, white, and blue color scheme. The team has such a long history as the maroon and black that the colors shouldn’t be changed so Americans is out. Generals is the crappy basketball team that always loses to the Globetrotters and the team wouldn’t want to be thought of as an organization that could have a losing record over a 10-year period so scratch that. Federals, Senators, and Nationals have already been used in DC to great success. I’m sick of trying to think of patriotic names so on to the next category.

An obvious idea is and animal that starts with W. I Googled it and there are some good ones like Wallaby, Warthog, and Weasel. But none of those had any real connection to the DC area, except the last one that could be in honor of the owner. Oh, and they listed Water Dragons which made me think of another one the owner might like. Dragons, as in Dungeons and Dragons, which I’m pretty sure he played a lot as a kid. But it wouldn’t speak to the masses so let’s pass.

The Wizards have a winning formula. Alliteration and no real tie to the area or reasoning behind the choice. We have a winner and as a bonus it vaguely conjures up images of Native Americans. From now on the local professional football team will be known as:

The Washington Warriors

The best part, they can come out of the tunnel each week to this:

And the gang’s get up is almost maroon and black.