Author Archives: swagless

Cowboys vs. Nobody: Bye Week Cheat Sheet

Posted by SuckaFish

The Cowboys are off this week. It’s your chance to use the RedZone Channel and the Sunday Ticket to the fullest of your abilities despite the fact that DirecTV is going to use this time to screw you unmercifully.

Here’s everything you need to read before next week’s Cowboys kickoff.

If DeMarcus Ware isn’t your favorite player, he will be after you watch this (E:60)

Looks like Wade Phillips will be unemployed soon (Four-letter network)

The controversial video has been moved, temporarily (PFT)

More feel-good, off-the-field stuff (FanHouse)

FOX apologized for reporting the fact that Yoko Romo is fat (FanHouse)

Is Wade the worst coach in the NFC East? (Bleacher Report)

Finally, even Redskin Hall of Famers hate the Redskins

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Week 6 NFL Picks: Me vs. a Two Year Old

Posted by SuckaFish

Each week I’ll be picking games in a head-to-head competition with an intellectual equal, my two-year-old daughter. I put the logos of the two teams playing each other on the screen and she pointed to (this week there was a lot of “go away bird” or “go away man”) the team she prefers.

Two weeks ago I went 10-3 and she went 7-6. Last week it was 9-5 for me, 6-8 for her. Basically, she’s not very good at this and if it keeps up I’ll have to start picking against one of the dogs or something.

After four weeks of picks here are the records:
The Kid 34-25
SuckaFish 42-17

Game SuckaFish Two-Year-Old Daughter
Browns @ Steelers Steelers Browns
Texans @ Bengals Bengals Texans
Giants @ Saints Saints Saints
Chiefs @ Redskins Redskins Redskins
Lions @ Packers Packers Lions
Panthers @ Buccaneers Panthers Panthers
Rams @ Jaguars Jaguars Rams
Ravens @ Vikings Vikings Ravens
Eagles @ Raiders Eagles Eagles
Cardinals @ Seahawks Cardinals Cardinals
Bills @ Jets Jets Bills
Titans @ Patriots Patriots Titans
Bears @ Falcons Bears Bears
Broncos @ Chargers Chargers Broncos

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Cowboys vs. Broncos: Gameday Cheat Sheet

Posted by SuckaFish

The Cowboys play the Broncos in Denver at 4:15 ET, DirecTV channel 714. Here’s everything you need to read before kickoff.

Barber will play, but not much (Matt Mosely)

What did Wade learn from his first head coaching job? (ESPNDallas.com)

Chatting with the enemy (Blogging the Boys)

DeMarcus is getting restless (Star Telegram)

The evolution of Tony Romo (Ed Werder)

Is Flozell about to be suspended? (Cowboys Corner)

Somebody is ready to breakout (Dallas Morning News)

Five things to watch (Star Telegram)

Experts are split (CBSSports.com)
Experts like Dallas (ESPN.com)

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Week 4 NFL Picks: Me vs. a Two Year Old

Posted by SuckaFish

Each week I’ll be picking games in a head-to-head competition with an intellectual equal, my two-year-old daughter. I put the logos of the two teams playing each other on the screen and she pointed to (or said things like “helmet for the Browns or “Tiger” for the Jaguars) the team she prefers.

Last week I showed her that she needs to respect her elders. I went 13-3, the little one went 10-6. After two weeks here are the records:
The Kid 21-11
SuckaFish 23-9

This is Separation Sunday. We have opposing picks in five of the 14 games, all of them are played at 1pm today. Here are the picks:

Game SuckaFish Two-Year-Old Daughter
Lions @ Bears Bears Lions
Raiders @ Texans Texans Raiders
Bengals @ Browns Bengals Browns
Buccaneers @ Redskins Redskins Buccaneers
Ravens @ Patriots Patriots Patriots
Titans @ Jaguars Titans Jaguars
Seahawks @ Colts Colts Colts
Bills @ Dolphins Dolphins Dolphins
Jets @ Saints Saints Saints
Cowboys @ Broncos Cowboys Cowboys
Rams @ 49ers 49ers 49ers
Chargers @ Steelers Chargers Chargers
Packers @ Vikings Vikings Vikings

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Not a Great Day for Redskin Families

Posted by SuckaFish

Two rough stories today about Redskins and family members.

Sean Taylor’s mom is facing bankruptcy and may lose the house he bought for her. (Daily Finance)

Albert Haynesworth’s estranged wife wants some serious cash to pay bills. Oh, and a restraining order. (FanHouse)

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Humpday Headlines: Cowboys Stadium Is Sexy

Posted by SuckaFish

Cowboys Stadium Is Christened
Terence Newman wasn’t the only one who scored during the fourth quarter of the game Monday night. Apparently a couple of love birds took the opportunity to express their emotions in a physical way at Cowboys Stadium. Yeah, it looks like they went to an oversized john designed for a person with a disability and had sex. On the floor. Of a public bathroom in a stadium that holds more than 100,000 people. Of course a crowd gathered outside and a cell phone camera caught them in the act.

Felix Jones Out and Fined
Sources say he is going to miss the Denver game, at least.

The league has fined him for a leg whip against the Panthers. That makes perfect sense given that HE NEVER ACTUALLY TOUCHED ANYONE.

Another Job Lost
Looks like the great cornerback experiment is over. The Cowboys will stop alternating starts between Mike Jenkins and Orlando Scandrick.

Jason Garrett Is Innovative
Here’s a novel idea for the league’s top rushing offense. When you’re at the one, run!

Flozell Fined Again
He kept his streak alive. Three games, three fines. Learn all about it in another completely fact-based and unbiased report from Pro Football Talk.

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Cowboys 21, Panthers 7: Felix Jones Is Unstoppable, Stopped

Posted by SuckaFish

Only two things can stop Felix Jones, injuries and Jason Garrett. Both did Monday night.

Jones carried the ball eight times for 94 yards, an 11.8 average. So why did he only get eight carries? He left the game in the third quarter with a left knee strain but he should have had 20-25 touches by then.

The Cowboys scored zero points in the first half. They twice had the ball at the one before settling for field goals. And still they beat the Carolina Panthers 21-7 for their first win in Cowboys Stadium.

They won thanks to ball control and their best defensive performance of the young season. The key play was a Terence Newman interception returned for a TD in the fourth quarter. It was one of three turnovers created by the Cowboys, their first three of the season. They also sacked Jake Delhomme three times for their first three sacks of the season.

Tony Romo responded to a week of severe national criticism by completing 22-33 passes for 255 yards and , perhaps most importantly, no turnovers.

Third-string RB Tashard Choice had 18 carries for 82 yards and a TD.

The Cowboys travel to Denver to take on the Broncos Sunday at 4pm ET (DirecTV channel 714).

Here are the highlights.

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