Tag Archives: Dallas Cowboys

Cowboys vs. Nobody: Bye Week Cheat Sheet

Posted by SuckaFish

The Cowboys are off this week. It’s your chance to use the RedZone Channel and the Sunday Ticket to the fullest of your abilities despite the fact that DirecTV is going to use this time to screw you unmercifully.

Here’s everything you need to read before next week’s Cowboys kickoff.

If DeMarcus Ware isn’t your favorite player, he will be after you watch this (E:60)

Looks like Wade Phillips will be unemployed soon (Four-letter network)

The controversial video has been moved, temporarily (PFT)

More feel-good, off-the-field stuff (FanHouse)

FOX apologized for reporting the fact that Yoko Romo is fat (FanHouse)

Is Wade the worst coach in the NFC East? (Bleacher Report)

Finally, even Redskin Hall of Famers hate the Redskins


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Week 5 NFL Picks: Me vs. a Two Year Old

Posted (for) SuckaFish

Each week I’ll be picking games in a head-to-head competition with an intellectual equal, my two-year-old daughter. I put the logos of the two teams playing each other on the screen and she pointed to (or said things like “helmet” for the Browns or “Tiger” for the Jaguars) the team she prefers.

Here are the picks for Week 5:

Game SuckaFish Two-Year-Old Daughter
Browns @ Bills Browns Browns
Cowboys @ Chiefs Cowboys Chiefs
Vikings @ Rams Vikings Vikings
Raiders @ Giants Giants Raiders
Bucs @ Eagles Eagles Eagles
Steelers @ Lions Steelers Lions
Redskins @ Panthers Panthers Panthers
Bengals @ Ravens Ravens Ravens
Falcons @ 49ers 49ers 49ers
Jaguars @ Seahawks Seahawks Jaguars
Texans @ Cardinals Cardinals Texans
Patriots @ Broncos Patriots Patriots
Colts @ Titans

Jets @ Dolphins





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Cowboys vs. Broncos: Gameday Cheat Sheet

Posted by SuckaFish

The Cowboys play the Broncos in Denver at 4:15 ET, DirecTV channel 714. Here’s everything you need to read before kickoff.

Barber will play, but not much (Matt Mosely)

What did Wade learn from his first head coaching job? (ESPNDallas.com)

Chatting with the enemy (Blogging the Boys)

DeMarcus is getting restless (Star Telegram)

The evolution of Tony Romo (Ed Werder)

Is Flozell about to be suspended? (Cowboys Corner)

Somebody is ready to breakout (Dallas Morning News)

Five things to watch (Star Telegram)

Experts are split (CBSSports.com)
Experts like Dallas (ESPN.com)

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Cowboys 21, Panthers 7: Felix Jones Is Unstoppable, Stopped

Posted by SuckaFish

Only two things can stop Felix Jones, injuries and Jason Garrett. Both did Monday night.

Jones carried the ball eight times for 94 yards, an 11.8 average. So why did he only get eight carries? He left the game in the third quarter with a left knee strain but he should have had 20-25 touches by then.

The Cowboys scored zero points in the first half. They twice had the ball at the one before settling for field goals. And still they beat the Carolina Panthers 21-7 for their first win in Cowboys Stadium.

They won thanks to ball control and their best defensive performance of the young season. The key play was a Terence Newman interception returned for a TD in the fourth quarter. It was one of three turnovers created by the Cowboys, their first three of the season. They also sacked Jake Delhomme three times for their first three sacks of the season.

Tony Romo responded to a week of severe national criticism by completing 22-33 passes for 255 yards and , perhaps most importantly, no turnovers.

Third-string RB Tashard Choice had 18 carries for 82 yards and a TD.

The Cowboys travel to Denver to take on the Broncos Sunday at 4pm ET (DirecTV channel 714).

Here are the highlights.

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NFL Week 3 Wrap-up: Tweet Style

Posted by SuckaFish

TO blasts an NBC analyst, Vernon Davis has class, Mark Sanchez is boring, and Martellus Bennett breaks necks. Here’s a quick trip around the league featuring Tweets from real live NFL players.

Terrell Owens had no catches for the first time in 185 games. He said all the right things in the post game interviews but then attacked NBC analyst Rodney Harrison via Twitter (@terrellowens), three times:

I could less about Rodney Harrison! Anybody tht using steroids, yes STEROIDS rodney, is a cheater & cheated the game!

Is tht Y u used steroids b/c u were worried about ur stats or ws it b/c u were losing it? Lol! U’re a loser & a cheater? Got any steroid

Hey rodney! Send me sum steroids 2 the Bills facility next week!

Vernon Davis had seven catches for 96 yards and two TDs, including the score that put the Niners ahead in the fourth. He then watched Brett Favre make the play of the day, hitting Greg Lewis in the end zone with two seconds left. Davis (@VernonDavis85) took the high road in his post-game Tweet.

We lost but im proud of my teammates they did a great job! We def got what it takes to be the best!

Mark Sanchez proved once again that he has a very bright future in the NFL leading the Jets to a 24-17 win over the Titans. He also hit up his Twitter account (@Mark_Sanchez) to prove once again that he is as boring as dirt.

Big win @ home today. Defense was lights out again! Shout out to the fans! We’ll need it again next week. A lot of work to do! Go Jets!

The Cowboys play Monday night but Martellus Bennett is already finding humor in potentially paralyzing opponents. He got people fired up by Twittering (@Jupiters_Crunch):

Big game tomm. Another chance to set the tone as a team tomm. Break necks then cash checks. Ha can’t wait

Dallas better not fall to 0-2 in Jerry’s World or Wade may enter the Zorn Zone.

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Week 3 NFL Picks: Me vs. a Two Year Old

Posted by SuckaFish

Each week I’ll be picking games in a head-to-head competition with an intellectual equal, my two-year-old daughter. I put the logos of the two teams playing each other on the screen and she pointed to (or said things like “helmet for the Browns or “Tiger” for the Jaguars) the team she prefers.

After one week here are the records:
The Kid 11-5
SuckaFish 10-6

Here are the picks:

Game SuckaFish Two-Year-Old Daughter
Saints @ Bills Saints Saints
Steelers @ Bengals Steelers Steelers
Redskins @ Lions Redskins Redskins
Broncos @ Raiders Broncos Broncos
Packers @ Rams Packers Rams
49ers @ Vikings Vikings Vikings
Falcons @ Patriots Patriots Patriots
Titans @ Jets Jets Jets
Chiefs @ Eagles Eagles Eagles
Colts @ Cardinals Colts Cardinals
Dolphins @ Chargers Chargers Chargers
Bears @ Seahawks Bears Seahawks
Giants @ Buccaneers Giants Giants
Browns @ Ravens Ravens Browns
Jaguars @ Texans Texans Jaguars
Panthers @ Cowboys Cowboys Cowboys


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Thursday Morning Qback: Week 2

Posted by SuckaFish

Each week SI.com’s Peter King works tirelessly to produce Monday Morning QB ensuring that it will be posted before you get to work in the morning. The next day, Gregg Easterbrook stops watching Star Trek long enough to ensure that Tuesday Morning Quarterback is live on ESPN.com by mid afternoon.

By Wednesday (or Thursday, and the occasional Friday) we’ll finish digesting these massive tomes and will filter out the fat and deliver the only nuggets you really need.

Monday Morning QB
This week Mr. King locks in with just under 6,600 words. We condense it to a bite size 655. You save 90%!

Now, we all assume that no one will ever break this record of Favre’s, but should we? Let’s say Favre plays 16 games this regular-season, then retires. (For good.) That would give him 285 straight starts. Peyton Manning is now at 177. If he starts the rest of this year, he’d be at 192. So he’d need 94 starts to pass Favre; Manning would have to start every game ’til December 2015 to get to 286. By that time, like Favre, Manning would be 39. Now that Manning has started to have knee issues, my money’s on Favre to keep the record, but it wouldn’t stun me if Manning — who is conscious of his place in history and loves football as much as he loves breathing — worked tirelessly to stay healthy enough to play that long.

That’s amazing. And there’s no way Manning plays every game for that long. That record may be unbreakable, as is Favre’s record for interceptions.

Kurt Warner. One incompletion was a “sight-adjust” route mixup with Anquan Boldin, which happens to every quarterback in every game. On the other, Jacksonville was blitzing, and Warner had to throw a fade he knew probably wouldn’t be caught. That’s the extent of his imperfections Sunday. His 24-of-26 day in a 31-17 win at Jacksonville was the most accurate (.923) in NFL history.

Is it possible that I buried the Cardinals too early? The offense is clicking and Larry Fitzgerald isn’t even getting the ball yet, they play in a weak division, have the confidence of a team that went to the Super Bowl last year, and they can still legitimately play the “no respect” card. No, they won’t make the playoffs, they’re still the Cardinals.

1. Baltimore (2-0). When the new regime took over in 2008, coach John Harbaugh and offensive coordinator Cam Cameron told the offense it was long past time that the unit carried its weight. Stop losing to the defense in practice. Stand up for yourselves.
Any doubt now the offense is an equal in Baltimore? The most impressive thing is the offense. At 34.5 points a game, the Ravens are second in the NFL to New Orleans.

Um, if the Ravens offense is actually good that is big trouble for the Steelers.

6. Pittsburgh (1-1). Willie Parker, 12 carries for 47 yards. What happened to the Steelers running game? Second straight game it hasn’t been there.

If the running game is bad that is big trouble for the Steelers. And really? A 1-1 team is no. 6? I realize they won the Super Bowl last year but this is about 2009. So far this season they won a home opener in OT and then lost to the Bears.

This is too good to pass up from Elliott Kalb, my NBC studio partner: Tom Brady has been on the field for 21 offensive possessions this young season. With the exception of his heroic two series in the last six minutes of the win over Buffalo, the other 19 have resulted in no touchdown passes, two interceptions and a 64.2 passer rating.
Of course that number is not as frightening as JaMarcus Russell’s completion percentage in his first two games of the season — 35.2.

If they need to pull JaMarcus Russell’s stats to make you look good your coach is not cheating enough for you to succeed.

With apologies to Philip Rivers and his ridiculous 436-yard day …
Eli Manning, QB, New York Giants
Others had better numbers than Manning’s (25-38, 330 yards, two touchdowns), but he put 13 points on the board with three crisp scoring drives in the final 16 minutes Sunday night at Dallas.

Wow. I realize he had a big day and the Giants won a division game on the road but let’s not forget that they have yet to score a TD in the red zone. Redskins fans are ready to jump in the Potomac because they can’t score in the red zone and they have the same conversion rate as the Giants, 0%.

Antwan Odom, DE, Cincinnati
Before this season, Odom had played 60 NFL games and totaled 15.5 sacks. Guess who’s the 2009 sack leader? Odom, the former bit-part Titan, who had five sacks, two additional tackles for loss, and five tackles in the Bengals’ stunning upset at Green Bay. That gives Odom seven for the season, and it gives the Bengals a pass-rushing end they’ve been lacking for years, even when Justin Smith was a moderately successful rush end before leaving in free agency for the Niners last year.

Hmmm, I’ll bet you didn’t think the former Titan d-lineman that would be grabbing headlines would be Antwan Odom. I wonder if Cincy is paying him $100M.

4. Darrelle Revis, CB, New York Jets. Andre Johnson was all-world in Week 2 — after getting manhandled by Revis in Week 1. Randy Moss was All-Pro in Week 1, then got silenced by Revis in Week 2.

I would say that’s impressive. I’m not sure I’d put him at no. 4 in the MVP race, but OK.

Let the emotional e-mails begin. In the MMQB book, I pick the Top 100 Players in NFL history. Here are my top 12 players of all time at the quarterback position.

2. Sammy Baugh. Had the best season of any player ever in 1943. Led the NFL in passing, punting and, as one of the best safeties in football, in interceptions.

I’ve probably read about that season 200 times and I still get surprised by the facts. Go Frogs!

Shawne Merriman is tied for 218th in the NFL in tackles after two games with six. And zero sacks. Dude, there’s going to be an APB out on you soon. I mean, Antwan Odom is leading you in sacks right now — by seven.

I blame Tila Tequila. Go Terps!

Good story by buddy Mike Silver, who reported Browns coach Eric Mangini fined a player $1,701 for not paying for a bottle of water he took from a hotel minibar during the preseason . As Plain Dealer columnist Bud Shaw wrote, it’s like killing a fly with a sledgehammer.

And bottled water is bad for the environment, too. Has a coach ever fallen faster than the “Man-genious”?

2. I think I haven’t seen a win that seemed so much like a loss as Washington’s 9-7 snoozer over the Rams.

I think KilgoreTroutIII summed that up pretty well.

Tuesday Morning Quarterback

Mr. Easterbrook finished with more than 10,000 words. That’s more than 3,300 words for each “g” in his first name.

Of course, he reduces his effort by spending the first 800 words rehashing his “go for it on fourth down” columns he has seemingly written 30 times previously. And nearly 2,800 words were on his pet topics; politics, entertainment, science, pizza, the economy, Christmas Creep, and fast food. Monday night’s game between Indianapolis and Miami was good, but probably not worth 1,500 words.

We knocked the whole thing down to 450 words. TMQ is 95% off!

Stats of the Week No. 3: Going back to the beginning of last season, the Tennessee Titans have followed a 13-2
stretch with a streak of 0-4.

That’s not good.

Stats of the Week No. 4: Going back to the beginning of last season, the Tampa Bay Bucs have followed a 9-3 stretch with a streak of 0-6.

That’s worse.

Stats of the Week No. 7: Cleveland has one offensive touchdown in its past eight games.

Maybe things aren’t so bad in DC after all.

by the way, the Saints already have 12 touchdowns this season

That’s more than the Patriots, Steelers, Rams, Browns, and Redskins COMBINED.

Sweet ‘N’ Sour Play No. 1: San Diego won its opener on a touchdown run up the middle by Darren Sproles with 18 seconds remaining. This week, San Diego trailed Baltimore by five, with 37 seconds remaining, and the Bolts faced fourth-and-2 on the Ravens’ 15. San Diego tried to run Sproles up the middle, and Baltimore’s Ray Lewis, remembering what San Diego did the previous week in that situation — the Chargers had also run up the middle on two previous short-yardage downs in the second half — guessed the play correctly, shot the “A” gap between guard and center, and dropped Sproles for a loss, ending the game. That was sweet. No one from San Diego even attempted to block Lewis. That was sour. The Bolts had two offensive linemen pulling right; Sproles was supposed to run “underneath” them, with the play designed to make Baltimore think the run was going right when actually it was going up the middle. The result was plenty of blocking on the right, but no blocker in the “A” gap. When you watch the ball on this play, it appears that Lewis did something spectacular — somehow he got into the backfield to tackle the runner for a game-winning play! Take your eyes off the ball and instead watch Lewis — all he does is run straight ahead at the snap through an opening left by the San Diego offensive line. No one so much as stepped into his path.

So many things here, I’ll just go with this, isn’t what makes a great play by a defender the fact that he got in the backfield without someone blocking him?

Adventures in Officiating: With the game tied at 31, Tennessee punted to Houston on the final snap of the third quarter. Houston’s Jacoby Jones signaled fair catch; the ball popped out of his hands and into the hands of a Titans player; initially, zebras marked it as Flaming Thumbtacks’ ball on the Texans’ 9. But a player who signals fair catch receives an “unimpeded” opportunity to catch a punt while it has not yet struck the ground. So officials correctly overruled themselves and flagged the Tennessee player who snatched the ball for fair-catch interference — since the ball hadn’t yet struck the ground and only Jones had the right to the catch. Jeff Fisher went ballistic, though after the game, acknowledged the ruling had been correct. Houston went on to win 34-31.

Raise your hand of you knew that rule.

Why Certain Teams Are On a 5-29 Stretch: Leading by one point with 1:12 remaining till halftime, holding all three timeouts, St. Louis took possession on its 30 — and ran out the clock.

And yet, they took the Redskins to the final minute before losing 9-7. Good luck in Detroit.

There were plenty of instances where he assumed what people were thinking and stated it as fact, typical TMQ stuff, but I was exhausted by the sheer volume of his ramblings. You win this time Easterbrook!

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