Cowboys vs. Nobody: Bye Week Cheat Sheet

Posted by SuckaFish

The Cowboys are off this week. It’s your chance to use the RedZone Channel and the Sunday Ticket to the fullest of your abilities despite the fact that DirecTV is going to use this time to screw you unmercifully.

Here’s everything you need to read before next week’s Cowboys kickoff.

If DeMarcus Ware isn’t your favorite player, he will be after you watch this (E:60)

Looks like Wade Phillips will be unemployed soon (Four-letter network)

The controversial video has been moved, temporarily (PFT)

More feel-good, off-the-field stuff (FanHouse)

FOX apologized for reporting the fact that Yoko Romo is fat (FanHouse)

Is Wade the worst coach in the NFC East? (Bleacher Report)

Finally, even Redskin Hall of Famers hate the Redskins

Humpday Headlines: Cowboys Stadium Is Sexy

Posted by SuckaFish

Cowboys Stadium Is Christened
Terence Newman wasn’t the only one who scored during the fourth quarter of the game Monday night. Apparently a couple of love birds took the opportunity to express their emotions in a physical way at Cowboys Stadium. Yeah, it looks like they went to an oversized john designed for a person with a disability and had sex. On the floor. Of a public bathroom in a stadium that holds more than 100,000 people. Of course a crowd gathered outside and a cell phone camera caught them in the act.

Felix Jones Out and Fined
Sources say he is going to miss the Denver game, at least.

The league has fined him for a leg whip against the Panthers. That makes perfect sense given that HE NEVER ACTUALLY TOUCHED ANYONE.

Another Job Lost
Looks like the great cornerback experiment is over. The Cowboys will stop alternating starts between Mike Jenkins and Orlando Scandrick.

Jason Garrett Is Innovative
Here’s a novel idea for the league’s top rushing offense. When you’re at the one, run!

Flozell Fined Again
He kept his streak alive. Three games, three fines. Learn all about it in another completely fact-based and unbiased report from Pro Football Talk.

They Are Who We Thought They Were: Lions 19, Redskins 14

Posted by SuckaFish

Lisa: Dad, do you know what schadenfreude is?
Homer: No, I do not know what schadenfreude is, please tell me because I am dying to know …
Lisa: It’s a German term for “shameful joy”, taking pleasure in the suffering of others.

That pretty much sums up my feelings today. Here are some of my favorite quotes/links after the team Mike Florio predicted to be in the Super Bowl became the first team to lose to the Lions since 2007.

Two fun posts in the Sports Bog:
One asks if this was the worst DC sports moment of 2009.
The other wonders if it’s time for a change. It includes these quotes:

Michael Strahan on Fox’s halftime show: “They’ve quit. The Washington Redskins have quit on the field.”
Trevor Matich, on CSN’s Postgame Live: “Beneath Rock Bottom. The only way it could have been worse if they would have been beaten by Maryland.”
Jon Jansen, on CSN: He said the win “couldn’t have come against a better team.” Also, if he had smiled any harder, all his teeth would have spontaneously popped out of his gums.

Steinz also points out: “Campbell was the only Skins player who agreed to be on CSN’s postgame show. Well, Campbell on Jon Jansen. That’s just absurd.”

And from Twitter:

John Riggins (@Riggo44)
There are team specific issues for sure and some individual issues for sure but the owner ultimately is a loser and you can’t fix that

u r Zorn..Head Coach..in Detroit…alot on the line….and u r chatting up TomKat before the game…what does that tell us about YOU!!!

Roger Mason Jr. (@MoneyMase)
This is an all time low point in Redskins history.

I’m so embarassed to a Redskins fan right now! What are we doing?

From Mister Irrelevant’s Twitter/Live Blog of the game:
Jamie Mottram (@jamiemottram) Coming to grips with the season being over in Week 3.

Unsilent Majority (@Unsilent)
If the Supreme Court rules against the Skins they can change their name to EPICFAIL

Next Sunday the Buccaneers travel to FedEx Field and try to keep their one-game lead over the Redskins in the battle for next year’s number one pick.

Roy Williams Update

Posted by SuckaFish

Cowboys wide receiver Roy Williams (we don’t have to call him Roy E. Williams anymore) is definitely out for the rest of the preseason after injuring his shoulder in a goal-line collision with Orlando Scandrick. Everyone agrees on those points. After that it gets sketchy. The four-letter.com is saying that tests were negative and that’s that. Florio on the other hand had a slightly less positive spin. He claims a shockingly unnamed source tells him that Williams collarbone is broken and he’ll be out six to eight weeks. Then he starts covering his ass. Enjoy his post. Williams will undergo an MRI and we’ll know the truth soon enough.

Hope This Kickoff Doesn’t Hit the Scoreboard

Posted by SuckaFish

Redskins fans hate the Cowboys. They hate their fans. They even hate the colors.

I’m a Cowboys fan and for most of my life I’ve lived in the DC area. This blog is part of the SWAGLESS network and in it I’ll give you news and opinions about both teams, the league in general, and the secret cabal of Dallas fans in the nation’s capital.

Oh, and if the league says you can’t hang a screen less than 85 feet above the field and you hang it 90 above the field, then you’re in the right.

If the league says they’ve created new rules for when punts hit the scoreboard and they’re the exact same rules they had a week ago, then Goodell is just covering his ass.

If Mike Florio says the league is buzzing over preferential treatment for the Cowboys but doesn’t name any of his sources, it’s because he hates the Cowboys and is once again putting his personal slant on an otherwise informative blog.