Cowboys vs. Nobody: Bye Week Cheat Sheet

Posted by SuckaFish

The Cowboys are off this week. It’s your chance to use the RedZone Channel and the Sunday Ticket to the fullest of your abilities despite the fact that DirecTV is going to use this time to screw you unmercifully.

Here’s everything you need to read before next week’s Cowboys kickoff.

If DeMarcus Ware isn’t your favorite player, he will be after you watch this (E:60)

Looks like Wade Phillips will be unemployed soon (Four-letter network)

The controversial video has been moved, temporarily (PFT)

More feel-good, off-the-field stuff (FanHouse)

FOX apologized for reporting the fact that Yoko Romo is fat (FanHouse)

Is Wade the worst coach in the NFC East? (Bleacher Report)

Finally, even Redskin Hall of Famers hate the Redskins

NFL Week 3 Wrap-up: Tweet Style

Posted by SuckaFish

TO blasts an NBC analyst, Vernon Davis has class, Mark Sanchez is boring, and Martellus Bennett breaks necks. Here’s a quick trip around the league featuring Tweets from real live NFL players.

Terrell Owens had no catches for the first time in 185 games. He said all the right things in the post game interviews but then attacked NBC analyst Rodney Harrison via Twitter (@terrellowens), three times:

I could less about Rodney Harrison! Anybody tht using steroids, yes STEROIDS rodney, is a cheater & cheated the game!

Is tht Y u used steroids b/c u were worried about ur stats or ws it b/c u were losing it? Lol! U’re a loser & a cheater? Got any steroid

Hey rodney! Send me sum steroids 2 the Bills facility next week!

Vernon Davis had seven catches for 96 yards and two TDs, including the score that put the Niners ahead in the fourth. He then watched Brett Favre make the play of the day, hitting Greg Lewis in the end zone with two seconds left. Davis (@VernonDavis85) took the high road in his post-game Tweet.

We lost but im proud of my teammates they did a great job! We def got what it takes to be the best!

Mark Sanchez proved once again that he has a very bright future in the NFL leading the Jets to a 24-17 win over the Titans. He also hit up his Twitter account (@Mark_Sanchez) to prove once again that he is as boring as dirt.

Big win @ home today. Defense was lights out again! Shout out to the fans! We’ll need it again next week. A lot of work to do! Go Jets!

The Cowboys play Monday night but Martellus Bennett is already finding humor in potentially paralyzing opponents. He got people fired up by Twittering (@Jupiters_Crunch):

Big game tomm. Another chance to set the tone as a team tomm. Break necks then cash checks. Ha can’t wait

Dallas better not fall to 0-2 in Jerry’s World or Wade may enter the Zorn Zone.

Jim Zorn Hates Redskins Legends

Posted by SuckaFish

In case you missed it, things are getting testy in Ashburn. Offensive coordinator Head coach Jim Zorn and legendary QB Sonny Jurgensen had a heated exchange about the coach’s decision to call a halfback option on third and goal against the Rams Sunday.

“Third down, I’m the quarterback, and you call the halfback throwing the ball for me, I’m calling timeout or calling an audible,” Jurgensen said. “I’m not letting the halfback throw it. That’s what you pay me for.”

“Well then, I would have to take you out of the game,” Zorn countered. “As soon as you called timeout, I’d say what’s wrong with my play, because….”

“It didn’t work!” Jurgensen interrupted.

There was a long pause.

“No, but I called it to work. Alright?” Zorn said. “We called it to work. It didn’t work. There were a lot of plays out there that didn’t work. And I’d take you out of the game. Sorry, Sonny.”

Zorn was asked about the play again during a press conference and calmed Skins fans with this reasoned response:

“I mean, if I could see it now, if I could see every play that was gonna fail before it failed, I’m with you. I wouldn’t call it.”

It’s been a tough week for Zorn who was questioned about his job security on his own radio show and today he said he would boo his team too. I wonder what Robert Henson will tweet about that!