A Cobra Destined To Be a ‘Skin

Posted by KilgoreTroutIII

Here he is ‘Skins. A guy who can tackle. And he’s perfect for a team that keeps beating itself. He tackles his own teammate. Sign him up.

He plays for the Las Vegas Cobras. Hmmm. Gotta wonder what the spread was on this game.

And when they talk about the spread in Vegas, they don’t mean the quarterback running the option.

Redskins in Trade Talks for Raiders’ Pigeon

Posted by KilgoreTroutIII

According to a Redskins source, Daniel Snyder is negotiating with Al Davis in an attempt to trade for the Raiders’ special teams pigeon who was the star of yesterday’s Eagles-Raiders game.

“I know everyone thinks I spend too much on high profile players,” Snyder said, caught on tape in a secret recording. “This pigeon is a special teams player only, so he should fit within our salary cap, but I know he won’t play for chicken feed.”

Without a playbook in his language, the pigeon lined up on the 20 for the kickoff and flew perfectly  in formation with the Raiders to the 20 at the other end, watched to be sure that the tackle was made, and then went back to pecking the turf.

And he’s nicely attired in the Raiders colors.

Cowboys vs. Nobody: Bye Week Cheat Sheet

Posted by SuckaFish

The Cowboys are off this week. It’s your chance to use the RedZone Channel and the Sunday Ticket to the fullest of your abilities despite the fact that DirecTV is going to use this time to screw you unmercifully.

Here’s everything you need to read before next week’s Cowboys kickoff.

If DeMarcus Ware isn’t your favorite player, he will be after you watch this (E:60)

Looks like Wade Phillips will be unemployed soon (Four-letter network)

The controversial video has been moved, temporarily (PFT)

More feel-good, off-the-field stuff (FanHouse)

FOX apologized for reporting the fact that Yoko Romo is fat (FanHouse)

Is Wade the worst coach in the NFC East? (Bleacher Report)

Finally, even Redskin Hall of Famers hate the Redskins

Cowboys vs. Broncos: Gameday Cheat Sheet

Posted by SuckaFish

The Cowboys play the Broncos in Denver at 4:15 ET, DirecTV channel 714. Here’s everything you need to read before kickoff.

Barber will play, but not much (Matt Mosely)

What did Wade learn from his first head coaching job? (ESPNDallas.com)

Chatting with the enemy (Blogging the Boys)

DeMarcus is getting restless (Star Telegram)

The evolution of Tony Romo (Ed Werder)

Is Flozell about to be suspended? (Cowboys Corner)

Somebody is ready to breakout (Dallas Morning News)

Five things to watch (Star Telegram)

Experts are split (CBSSports.com)
Experts like Dallas (ESPN.com)

Not a Great Day for Redskin Families

Posted by SuckaFish

Two rough stories today about Redskins and family members.

Sean Taylor’s mom is facing bankruptcy and may lose the house he bought for her. (Daily Finance)

Albert Haynesworth’s estranged wife wants some serious cash to pay bills. Oh, and a restraining order. (FanHouse)

Humpday Headlines: Cowboys Stadium Is Sexy

Posted by SuckaFish

Cowboys Stadium Is Christened
Terence Newman wasn’t the only one who scored during the fourth quarter of the game Monday night. Apparently a couple of love birds took the opportunity to express their emotions in a physical way at Cowboys Stadium. Yeah, it looks like they went to an oversized john designed for a person with a disability and had sex. On the floor. Of a public bathroom in a stadium that holds more than 100,000 people. Of course a crowd gathered outside and a cell phone camera caught them in the act.

Felix Jones Out and Fined
Sources say he is going to miss the Denver game, at least.

The league has fined him for a leg whip against the Panthers. That makes perfect sense given that HE NEVER ACTUALLY TOUCHED ANYONE.

Another Job Lost
Looks like the great cornerback experiment is over. The Cowboys will stop alternating starts between Mike Jenkins and Orlando Scandrick.

Jason Garrett Is Innovative
Here’s a novel idea for the league’s top rushing offense. When you’re at the one, run!

Flozell Fined Again
He kept his streak alive. Three games, three fines. Learn all about it in another completely fact-based and unbiased report from Pro Football Talk.

Cowboys 21, Panthers 7: Felix Jones Is Unstoppable, Stopped

Posted by SuckaFish

Only two things can stop Felix Jones, injuries and Jason Garrett. Both did Monday night.

Jones carried the ball eight times for 94 yards, an 11.8 average. So why did he only get eight carries? He left the game in the third quarter with a left knee strain but he should have had 20-25 touches by then.

The Cowboys scored zero points in the first half. They twice had the ball at the one before settling for field goals. And still they beat the Carolina Panthers 21-7 for their first win in Cowboys Stadium.

They won thanks to ball control and their best defensive performance of the young season. The key play was a Terence Newman interception returned for a TD in the fourth quarter. It was one of three turnovers created by the Cowboys, their first three of the season. They also sacked Jake Delhomme three times for their first three sacks of the season.

Tony Romo responded to a week of severe national criticism by completing 22-33 passes for 255 yards and , perhaps most importantly, no turnovers.

Third-string RB Tashard Choice had 18 carries for 82 yards and a TD.

The Cowboys travel to Denver to take on the Broncos Sunday at 4pm ET (DirecTV channel 714).

Here are the highlights.

They Are Who We Thought They Were: Lions 19, Redskins 14

Posted by SuckaFish

Lisa: Dad, do you know what schadenfreude is?
Homer: No, I do not know what schadenfreude is, please tell me because I am dying to know …
Lisa: It’s a German term for “shameful joy”, taking pleasure in the suffering of others.

That pretty much sums up my feelings today. Here are some of my favorite quotes/links after the team Mike Florio predicted to be in the Super Bowl became the first team to lose to the Lions since 2007.

Two fun posts in the Sports Bog:
One asks if this was the worst DC sports moment of 2009.
The other wonders if it’s time for a change. It includes these quotes:

Michael Strahan on Fox’s halftime show: “They’ve quit. The Washington Redskins have quit on the field.”
Trevor Matich, on CSN’s Postgame Live: “Beneath Rock Bottom. The only way it could have been worse if they would have been beaten by Maryland.”
Jon Jansen, on CSN: He said the win “couldn’t have come against a better team.” Also, if he had smiled any harder, all his teeth would have spontaneously popped out of his gums.

Steinz also points out: “Campbell was the only Skins player who agreed to be on CSN’s postgame show. Well, Campbell on Jon Jansen. That’s just absurd.”

And from Twitter:

John Riggins (@Riggo44)
There are team specific issues for sure and some individual issues for sure but the owner ultimately is a loser and you can’t fix that

u r Zorn..Head Coach..in Detroit…alot on the line….and u r chatting up TomKat before the game…what does that tell us about YOU!!!

Roger Mason Jr. (@MoneyMase)
This is an all time low point in Redskins history.

I’m so embarassed to a Redskins fan right now! What are we doing?

From Mister Irrelevant’s Twitter/Live Blog of the game:
Jamie Mottram (@jamiemottram) Coming to grips with the season being over in Week 3.

Unsilent Majority (@Unsilent)
If the Supreme Court rules against the Skins they can change their name to EPICFAIL

Next Sunday the Buccaneers travel to FedEx Field and try to keep their one-game lead over the Redskins in the battle for next year’s number one pick.

NFL Week 3 Wrap-up: Tweet Style

Posted by SuckaFish

TO blasts an NBC analyst, Vernon Davis has class, Mark Sanchez is boring, and Martellus Bennett breaks necks. Here’s a quick trip around the league featuring Tweets from real live NFL players.

Terrell Owens had no catches for the first time in 185 games. He said all the right things in the post game interviews but then attacked NBC analyst Rodney Harrison via Twitter (@terrellowens), three times:

I could less about Rodney Harrison! Anybody tht using steroids, yes STEROIDS rodney, is a cheater & cheated the game!

Is tht Y u used steroids b/c u were worried about ur stats or ws it b/c u were losing it? Lol! U’re a loser & a cheater? Got any steroid

Hey rodney! Send me sum steroids 2 the Bills facility next week!

Vernon Davis had seven catches for 96 yards and two TDs, including the score that put the Niners ahead in the fourth. He then watched Brett Favre make the play of the day, hitting Greg Lewis in the end zone with two seconds left. Davis (@VernonDavis85) took the high road in his post-game Tweet.

We lost but im proud of my teammates they did a great job! We def got what it takes to be the best!

Mark Sanchez proved once again that he has a very bright future in the NFL leading the Jets to a 24-17 win over the Titans. He also hit up his Twitter account (@Mark_Sanchez) to prove once again that he is as boring as dirt.

Big win @ home today. Defense was lights out again! Shout out to the fans! We’ll need it again next week. A lot of work to do! Go Jets!

The Cowboys play Monday night but Martellus Bennett is already finding humor in potentially paralyzing opponents. He got people fired up by Twittering (@Jupiters_Crunch):

Big game tomm. Another chance to set the tone as a team tomm. Break necks then cash checks. Ha can’t wait

Dallas better not fall to 0-2 in Jerry’s World or Wade may enter the Zorn Zone.

TCU Rescinds Henson’s Degree

Posted by KilgoreTroutIII

BREAKING NEWS: TCU has rescinded the degree previously presented to Robert Henson, former All-MWC linebacker now on the Washington Redskins roster. The university cited Mr. Henson’s series of 52 Twitter postings following the Redskins’ “game” against the Rams Sunday as reported in this front page story in the Washington Post.

“TCU has been embarrassed too much by Mr. Henson’s behavior,” said Associate Chancellor Ben Downtoolong. “We can understand a lack of forethought by his tweeting disrespectfully to the fans who indirectly pay his salary — a salary which is already in excess of anyone on the TCU staff with the exception of the volleyball coach and all other coaches in our athletic department.

See the full post at The TCU Horned Blog.

For further developments, please see:

HensonSoldHisSoulBySigningWithARacist-NamedTeam.blogspot.com